It always comes down to money.

Never did I expect that so much can rest on a chat with my landlord. 

With leaving university for these 6-12 months (depending on when the university decides if I can resit the whole year of just the second semester) comes some serious money matters. My student loans stop as soon as I tell the university I am definitely 'suspending my studies' and I've even been told by the company that I will have to pay some back straight away. WHERE I'm supposed to get money from I have no idea. 

I went to the Citizens Advice Bureau today to find out some more of my options when it comes to benefits etc.  To find a balance between a part time job and a little bit of help financially where needed. The thing is nothing can be sorted etc until I find out where I will be living in the immediate future and into next year. Simply because different entitlements depend on the type of living arrangements you have. ITS SO COMPLICATED. My landlord has said he'll pop round sometime early next week for a chat which I both can't wait for and nervous about in terms of it pretty much deciding what happens next life wise. I know I can stay living here until the end of June. I'm hoping though I will be able to live here for the next uni year as well and possibly through the summer. Instincts are telling me its not going to happen like that though... in which case I have some huge decisions to make in where to live! One huge stress I really could do without for the moment.

Hopefully I will be able to get a part time job that covers my rent and I'll just live off my savings for the other areas of life like eating.. I'm actually excited about having a job again :) I love working strangely and having a income is such a good feeling plus for me I know it will prove I can have some of my independence back. :D 

However I simply do not have the energy for a full time job at the moment. The entire reason I've made the horrible decision to stop university for now is mainly because I'm not in a state to keep up with the work load from the lack of decent health along with a massive need to slow down and rest and try to stabilise my condition. If I were to get a full time job then the pressure would just build up again and the point of leaving university to escape the pressures would be pointless.

Fingers crossed for now though :) I have the weekend to sit back and try not to worry to much about things for a little while. Easier said than done though I can tell you that now!!