The assessment.

I had my assessment yesterday... I think it went quite well :) well I left with a smile on my face anyway :D!

I can't put into words how nervous I was... PLUS I totally forgot to take my medicine or have any breakfast... not the best idea when combined with nerves!! I only came to realise my slight mistake when I was pretty much at uni so I didn't exactly have the time to run back home and take them.. and I knew I would be back home within an hour anyway. Good news is, I didn't decide to throw myself on the floor at any point, which, as much as that would have been the perfect presentation of the nature of subject of my work I am very glad!!!

Obviously it was a formal situation but it was more relaxed than I thought it was going to be. I was imagining standing up in front of my tutors and quivering like a leaf and not being able to get any words out... as you do..! OOOO and this, as much as it's a weird thing to bring up, made it that much more easier for me to calm down... I got to sit down!! Now this may seem a small issue but I have been having some distinct balance issues of late which until I knew I could sit down I didn't realise how much of my nerves were down to something as simple as that! Took a load of that's for sure. HAAAA get it??? yeahhh.... 

Of course there was the matter of presenting itself when it comes to my memory. Usually when you present something you have your presentation up on the screen and you click through the slides and talk over them explaining what they have on them etc. Some people just use bullet points they have included in the slides to let them remember what that need to say, others have prompt cards with points on that they need to put across to the audience. We've done numerous presentations in the past, and I was always someone that could just talk over the slides just using the info I had included in the slides to prompt me into remembering what to say.  

NOT. THIS. TIME. 

For this presentation, the first proper one I've had to do since seziures entered my life, I had to literally write myself a script of what I needed to say. I did try to talk over it with just notes to myself in a completely relaxed atmosphere where I wasn't nervous at all... but most of what I needed to say just vanished out of my head. I just couldn't take that chance of forgetting vital bits of information especially when I new I would be nervous on top of that and I wouldn't exactly have the chance to do it again! So a word by word script it was. To be honest I thought it would really bother me having to present in a different way to usual for myself.. but as much as it highlights just how much my memory has deteriorated, I'm getting used to just finding new ways to get around little obstacles in day to day life :) It doesn't bother me so much anymore. 

So now I just have to wait for my feedback. They did mention a few things I can start looking into briefly at the end of the assessment which is awesome. I'm so excited to progress everything further!

Also I finally got an epic letter from my doctor. Obviously I can't say what it says BUT I'm pretty sure I wont have my grades held back for late submission given what he's written.. :)

Well with that said, as much as I'd like to just switch off for a day, this dissertation isn't going to write itself!

XX