An empty train.

Recently I've been to visit my mum a couple of times. The longest it takes on the actual train is  between 2.5 and 3 hours. (minus the travels either end of  the train part..) In the grand scheme of things that not that long at all. But when you have the threat of seizures constantly hanging over you it makes it seem like forever. It worries me either more when I pretty much have the entire carriage to myself...

In one train journey alone I had two witnessed seizures. One was an absence I had when I was asked for my ticket which resulted in me being told I looked like I was "in a world of my own for a while there" Of course I just handed over my ticket and nervously laughed it off.. There's not really much else you can do! The second one happened as I was waiting for my connecting train. I was just standing on the platform that was typically buzzing with people when I lost my balance knocking into a woman. When I tried to apologise I just couldn't get the right words out and felt like I was steaming drunk. She told me that for about a minute I was making no sense at all as I was trying to talk to her. Once I'd regained my awareness fully (usually only takes a minute or so with these ones) I apologised properly and explained that it was a seizure. It's still funny hearing myself telling someone that especially if they are a complete stranger but it's better than leaving them wondering what on earth had just happened especially when they've been nice about it :)

I travel a lot on my own and have been very lucky not to have had a full blown Tonic-Clonic whilst out on my own. And of course the "what ifs" forever play around in my mind whenever I'm out and about but I try to just think well if it's going to happen there really is nothing I can do about it so best not dwell to much or I'd never get anything done! Easier said than done though.

It's good to be out of the house bumbling around though :D!

X