Anxious waits

I've been waiting since early October to get any results back from my Video Telemetry. The anxious wait being left to wonder what they will say (if anything) is taking it's toll. I feel constantly nervous and scared of what they might say then miserable and angry that they haven't arrived. 

I'm fed up of receiving a painful punch to my heart every time I hear the post drop through the door or the momentary pause before I look to see who's name appears on the screen when my phone rings. 

The results could mean an answer as to what the next step is. A simple yes we can move on with this journey or no we'll have to figure something else out to be the next move. 

My video telemetry results aren't the only results and tests I'm waiting for either. I'm due to see an ophthalmologist to learn why I can no longer see out of part of my left eye. My neurologist about a constant headache that I'm on high doses of Gabapentin to relieve the pain for. A call from the dental hospital to say I can go in to have my first ever filling simply because the numbing injection they give you to numb your month contains adrenaline and my dental surgery aren't equipped or have the measures in place to deal with when it inevitably causes a seizure. 

Big sigh, but one must keep going and think positive thoughts with smiles a plenty!