Neurology Appointment

I had a neurology appointment yesterday :)

Both my nurse and my consultant were there and my housemate came long with me for some much needed support and to help explain what been going on seizure wise. Obviously she sees a lot more than I do of what happens as most of the time I'm completely unaware or unconscious during. We talk about it all the time (kind of a hard thing to ignore...) and it real helps just talking about it freely. What surprised me though was how many questions she came out with during the appointment and it was strange to sit and listen to her talking with my doctor and nurse about it all so seriously. Strange I think, because at home we talk about it in a mostly light mood, not in a way that makes light of a very serious situation but more because having a sense of humour about the whole thing is my way of dealing with it. To hear her go into such detail and highlighting certain concerns was both touching and nerve wrecking at the same time I can't help but feel guilty that I have to inflict this whole thing on other people is a horrible feeling. 

We all talked about how stress brings on more seizures which I am more than sure is a trigger for many people. I seizure diary really highlights stress and anxiety triggering a big increase in seizures especially absences. I was told, yes TOLD by all three of them that I NEED to stop trying to help with other peoples problems so much and focus on my own problems more. That's definitely easier said than done though. I don't really know what to make of that. No one can help what crops up in life. It was definitely a surprise to hear Eira say it to me in front of the doctor and nurse deadly seriously. 

Interestingly though I asked about why I was getting so many nightmares. Apparently they're not a side effect of any of the medicine I am on... my neurologist then went on to say that she had been observing me throughout the appointment and can sense that I was very anxious. I'm not going to deny that I was, I mean we were discussing extremely vulnerable aspects of my life... and recent life stuff hasn't helped with the whole stress/anxiety thing. It shocked me though for someone to tell me that even after only sitting in front of her for about 10 minutes that I come across as anxious. I thought I hid it pretty well. The nightmares are almost certainly a result of subconscious anxiety :( 

They also discussed my weight with me. I have lost A LOT especially since starting on the Vimpat. I'm not  underweight nor am I complaining.. it's just very unusual for me to loose weight especially without changing my diet or lifestyle. Nothing really came about from it she just asked if I was eating... which of course I do? and believe me I can eat a lot! Just have to keep an eye on it for now :)

So all in all it was a good appointment a lot was discussed and having a friend there that could really tell them in detail what happens on a day to day basis was incredibly helpful :) and much appreciated from me! I go back for another appointment in 3 months time :) hopefully things both life and seizure wise will have calmed down by then!