Seizure on camera.

So yesterday was a pretty damn seizurey day. I was exhausted, spent most of the day lying in bed as my balance was utterly rubbish and despite being alone the entire time I new I was having plenty of minor seizures.

I'm usually told by other people when I have smaller seizures known as absences as I am completely unaware that they are happening. Apparently I literally stop everything that I;m doing whether I'm mid sentence or walking along etc and then up to a 10 seconds later I simply carry on where I left off with absolutely no recollection of the event.

Recently though (in the last few months) I have been experiencing episodes where I totally loose sense of where I am I become totally unresponsive to everything and everyone around me for up to 20 seconds, I still move but in a confused way then after the initial 20 seconds ish I start to regain some awareness and start to feel like I'm incredibly drunk and loose my balance, stumble and sometimes fall. If someone is there with me and they are trying to talk to me I start to reply but don't make any sense. Sometimes I talk about the things I see around me or sometimes complete gibberish. Although to me I am making complete sense in what I am trying to say. These episodes are different from my normal absences as after the initial unresponsiveness as I start to regain my awareness I can feel that there is something wrong. I know that I can't judge where things like the floor are properly, which feels VERY strange as if I'm honest very frightening because I know that I am aware that I have no control over what I am doing. People say I look, move and walk like I'm drunk. After about a minute or so I am totally back in the normal world. I can move and talk coherently. Yeahhh it's pretty hard to explain...

So yesterday I new that I was having episode after episode. My skin was a shade of grey and had massive bags under my eyes from being so exhausted. In the evening when they were starting to ease off and I could concentrate better to use the internet and watch TV so I decided to set my web cam on recording me. In just over an hour after I set up the camera I had another episode. I then re-watched the last part of the recording and there it was! This is the first time I have been able to watch myself experience any form of seizure, and I have got to say IT IS FREAKY!!!!!!!!

My specialist rang me today to discuss these newer 'episodes' (I'm calling them episodes simply because they haven't been seen and diagnosed by my neuro as seizures as of yet) after I had described these recent goings on she said that all the local clinics have a massive back log but she will try to get me in to be seen as soon as she could. This worries me slightly... Anywho tomorrow morning they are going to discuss my case and decide whats best to do next. She told me this will probably either be another increase in my current medication so anything higher than 2000mg per day of Keppra OR  they will add another medicine to my daily routine. Either way I will find out through a phone call by 2pm tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to finding out as any changes in medicine always have bad consequences for a good two weeks :( but hey if it's one step closer to gaining control over seizures then it's definiftely a good thing!

IN OTHER NEWS...

I'm off to my mum's tomorrow for a week or so which I am very happy and relieved about! A nice bit of time to relax and see family and of course hang out on the farm with animals! I always find that theraputic :) OH and my hair is being chopped off tomorrow :D I was trying to grow it long again but it's gotten so thin recently that I've decided to have cut quite short again and then dye it to make myself at least look a bit healthier... excited! 

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