Assessment

I'm so unbelievably angry and sad that after everything, at the very last minute I wasn't able to sit the final assessment of my degree. In fact I think I'd go as far as to say I'm very close to devastated. The only thing that's holding me away from being devastated is knowing that despite being particularly poorly over the weekend I still managed to get my work in for the hand-in deadline on Tuesday. Unfortunately though that is as far as I got as just a few hours after being in university signing everything over to them I ended up feeling very VERY ill, ending up back in hospital that night. 

I knew I wasn't feeling right during the previous days and by the time it got to Tuesday I felt a whole lot worse. I mean obviously I wasn't exactly feeling on top form from falling down the stairs a few days previous but this wasn't achy painful ill, it was more banging headache, pale, shaky and nauseous ill. I tried to sleep it off but it just got worse as the evening went on. I was alone in the house and eventually I felt so poorly I decided to ring NHS direct for advice and see what they made of it. After explaining everything to them I hoped they would say something along the lines of "don't worry get some sleep tonight it's probably just bit of delayed shock or something..." But that wasn't to be, instead they told me to ring my out of hours doctor and talk to them about what I should do. Now I know that when they tell you to talk to a local doctor they want you to get checked out so STUPIDLY I didn't want to ring them. I think it was because I knew deep down that something was wrong and that it would probably end up screwing up my assessment. WHY that was going through my head rather then go and get yourself better, I don't know... I guess I'm just far to stubborn for my own good at times! So I sat there for far too long trying to decide what to do during which time my housemate came home and I asked him for advice... which is when we noticed the bump on my head had swollen up again out of nowhere. Needless to say that gut feeling of panic started to set in and he pretty much demanded I ring the doctor. Another thing that held me back was knowing he had his final assessment early the next morning and if I had to go and see anyone he'd be the one that would have to take me and it was already close to 11pm. Anyway eventually I rang the doctor, explained the situation and without a moments thinking they told me to go straight to the hospital. 

So yes what I instinctively knew was going to happen, happened. Fast forward to the following morning (after shooing my housemate off home at about 2.30am) I was still lying in hospital. I had observation all night and all the usual neurological tests to check there wasn't anything horrible lurking from when I hit my head but all was fine thankfully. My pupils where unequal though which was a cause for concern although we put it down to seizures which means I'd either had recent seizures I hadn't noticed which is very likely or very subtle seizures at the time or both.  Anywho my bloods came back and it turns out I was having a bad reaction to the co-codomal I was taking as painkillers so I had to come off them immediately. Lucky to have spotted it as if I had kept taking them things could have gotten much worse. It's really knocked me for six though and I'm very tired and look like death warmed up! But the good news is that I'm on the mend :) 

I was so tempted to still take my assessment after getting out of hospital but my tutor was pretty insistent that I don't, which I now agree with fully. I just need telling straight sometimes. I can't put into words just how FRUSTRATING it is though, I was THIS CLOSE to finishing my degree on time along with everyone else. My assessment is being re-scheduled for next week and I'm just hoping I'm feeling a lot better by then and nothing else gets thrown this way to knock me off course. 

Fingers crossed!!!!