Drama!

Well I was doing really rather good seizure wise for a while :) Neither my friends or I had noticed any for maybe about a week?!? 

Then there was a bus crash just up the road from where I live. I left my house to walk up to the university for a tutorial to find a bus precariously bumped up the curb outside the house with most of the side windows smashed up. There were no cars around and I saw the driver walking up the middle of the bus so obviously shouted across the road to ask if he was ok and he told me he was and the police where on the way. Literally as he told me they pulled up so I carried on walking up the hill wondering how on earth it had got into that state with no other cars or any obvious signs of damage around. I soon found out though... further up the hill there is a horribly tight corner for a fast and sometimes very busy road and shoved to the side just around the corner was a huge lorry. There was glass and debris all over the place and cars soon started backing up and trying to pass through. A police car had just arrived but with only the one officer and parked on the wrong side of the hidden stationary lorry. I didn't even think twice about walking back around the corner to slow any approaching cars down and stop them as there is no way they would be able to see the accident literally RIGHT around the corner and as I said it's a fast road!! The policeman yelled for me to keep warning the cars of the danger until they could get the lorry moved away from the scene as given that he was the only one there at that moment there was no one else to help. Eventually they managed to move the lorry further down the road so it was in plain sight of any drivers and the traffic could start to move slowly again once they had swept the road thanks to a neighbouring house and his sweeping brush! 

Basically what had happened is both the lorry and the bus hit the corner at the same time and there just wasn't enough room for both the long vehicles to take the turn which resulted in the lorries wing mirror to smash into the buses side windows and drag along the side of it ripping them to pieces. Crazy stuff. Thankfully and very luckily no one was hurt. Needless to say the adrenaline was most definitely pumping!! 

So after all this occurred I finally got to university and was still able to see have a meeting about my dissertation. Which was going well until I went from talking about something I was discussing in my dissertation to tuning into my tutor trying to get my attention. Yep an absence. I was sooo annoyed but not really surprised. 

Any who I did manage to gets lots of work done today which is fab! Still plenty more to do though!

x 

A reason to celebrate!

This past weekend was spent celebrating what, for me, is a HUGE achievement!!! I found out that I am doing much much MUCH better at university this year. This time last year I had to drop off my course and now I'm on track for an honours degree!! It's crazy, the sense of relief that I felt when a tutor told me how my work had been graded and how pleased they were with my progress, was almost overwhelming. Even now I can't stop smiling!!! 

One of my closest friends who graduated last year with my original class and used to live with me came up to stay for the weekend. It was so nice to see her and to have a proper catch up on all things life. The weekend was full of night's spent chatting away, a trip to Cardiff for some shopping, lazing around watching films and even a night out in towns clubs with friends. It felt like I had gone back in time a couple of years with not much of a care in the world for a few days. Really refreshing... definitely needed it!

A couple of days later and I think I've finally caught up on missed sleep :) saying that I haven't taken my meds yet... and have plenty to be getting on with today! Early nights are a must this week :)

Better carry on with the hard work for university to keep on track, starting with carrying on writing this 10000 word dissertation. Fun fun!! 

Importance of tomorrow.

At 2PM tomorrow I have an assessment feedback meeting with my tutor and I will find out if my decision to suspend studies half way through my final year of my degree last year was worth it. 

Last March about 4 months after being diagnosed with Epilepsy I made one of the hardest decisions in life so far. That was to leave my course, my course mates and to pause life as I knew it studying photographic art. The seizures, the diagnosis and the medication etc all lead to a whole load of stress that I tried to carry for as long as I could but eventually I was became completely drained and I fell behind with the coursework meaning could no longer keep up with everyone and everything. The decision to leave was truly gutting, I felt like I had failed and Epilepsy had beaten me. If I am completely honest until I left I didn't realise just how HUGELY IMPORTANT this degree is to me.

Despite my seizures still being uncontrolled and I am in fact having more seizure types, I am now back at university re-sitting the year and I'm half way through. Last week we had an assessment to see how far we have come with our work, and where will take it in the next few months.

I've kept relatively quiet about being nervous about finding out my results but I REALLY cannot explain how much it means to me just to be that bit more progressed this year compared to last, in terms of the level of work I have done. I've tried as hard as I can and deep down I feel I have taken a step forward :) 

I've decided that if my grades are at least the same as last year and my tutors are happy then all the tiredness, stress and hard work will have been worth it. 

Only time will tell! :) 

Look back in order to look forward.

I've written a surprising amount of my dissertation today :D Need to give my brain a rest from thinking too hard now though and well I'm a bit bored so I thought I would write on here instead. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately mostly general life stuff but particularly that I really need to find a way to de-stress. I really do think that plays a big part in being so tired almost constantly!

I've been super lucky in everything that I have got to experience over the years. Everything from gaining my scuba diving licence beginning in England and finishing in the beautiful red sea in Egypt, to kayaking qualifications and travelling to some incredible areas of the world and white water rafting down a glacial river in the stunning French Alps.  

I used to practise Tae Kwon-do and LOVED every second of it. It is such an amazing sport to really engage your mind and focus on releasing energy in an incredibly positive way. You can do as much or a little as you can manage and using varying levels of physical energy. Unfortunately I hurt my wrists to the point I would finish a session with them aching and throbbing so much I could have cried. That and I ran out of money as I was still only young and paying for that amongst other things on a part time job wage whilst still at college. I still have my belts and suit and will keep them forever as they mean a lot. Maybe I should look into a martial art that focuses more on the mental side of the art and just the legs physically. I always did a surprisingly powerful kick especially for how small a build I have! *Researches Kickboxing*

I also used to horse ride until I had one to many accidents when I was fourteen. I do love being in the presence of horses especially at my mums as they are so calm and have the most beautiful of aura's, but they really do scare me. I have a 'thing' with animals, my mum is forever saying she is surprised I never became a vet, I seem to have a connection animals. Maybe I should go and volunteer in a rescue centre or something.. I'm not sure I could handle seeing an animal having been through a cruel time. But then again it's all about nursing them back to health and giving them the care they missed out on and deserve is't it..

Like I said I have been extremely lucky to experience all that I have in my life so far and all this before receiving my diagnosis of Epilepsy. I've decided that once I have gained my degree I will carry on working towards and gaining some amazing experiences. 

Anyway back to ways of de-stressing I have ALWAYS been a water baby and absolutely LOVE swimming I should really try and go more.

We'll see what happens! 

New doctor + more tests

I have a new GP again as my other doctor left the surgery. She's very nice though and actually took the time to read through my notes before my appointment which was very handy as that's not always the case.  

At her request I had a couple of tests done today including an ECG (electrocardiogram) on my heart and blood tests. It's strange  to say I'm getting used to tests of all forms now. That's not to say it wasn't painful... it took THREE attempts to get my veins to give up some blood and my arms are currently bruising nicely! I have to go back in for another appointment with the doctor next week to discuss results hopefully there's nothing bad that shows up!

OH and I had a rather HUGE assessment yesterday morning at uni... and dare I say it I think it went alright :)!! Just have to wait at least a week for the feedback for it.

*fingers crossed* results in all areas are alright :) 

Deadline met - Back to dissertation

Well I have definitely come to the conclusion that my seizures have something against my dissertation in particular. If I'm not having a seizure and banging my head on the desk I'm writing it at, I’m waking up 3/4 hours after I'm supposed to have analysed a piece of writing with more highlighter on my face than the essay itself! Glad it’s not just me hating the idea of writing side of uni work. 

Earlier today I met the deadline for a hand-in for a presentation for the practical photography side of my uni work and I am being assessed on this by presenting the presentation and my current work THIS Thursday arghhhh! Once that is over, I'll have to go back to focusing on my dissertation and to be honest I am not looking forward to it. 

I'll just have to see how this assessment goes and far through the roof my stress levels go. 

Stress = Seizures. NOT GOOD.

Happy New Year

Ok so it's very late but Happy New Year!!!

Life is super busy at the moment with travelling, life things to sort, sleeping a ridiculous amount (unbelievably tired at the moment :(...), trips to the doctor and HUGE university deadlines to meet!!!

I will get back to posting again soon, I have a lot to blab on about!

X