Time.

I had a doctors appointment today. Not because I'm ill but because I had a whole list of questions! 

The main one being: Whats causing my memory and concentration to go so haywire... the medicine or the seizures? 

He said it's more likely to be the medicine because inbetween seizures you should pretty much return to your normal state, but it could well be something completely unrelated... only time will tell.  Thats all fine and I fully understand that with something like this time is a major part in getting the correct dosage etc and to begin to regain complete control of every aspect.  

But the problem is I don't really have that much time when it comes to university work. I can't even begin to explain how much it affects my studying. Maybe  a good way to put it is, I feel like I have to re-learn how to study effectively. Just little things like read in a way that allows me to actually absorb information which atm seems like a distinct impossibility! And when it comes to explaining things like project ideas to people its like everything just flies out the window even when I know, I know what to say... if that makes any sense.. I find it VERY difficult to re-call the simplest bits of information. You can say something to me and ask me to repeat it just moments later and wooosh its gone!! 

Now this is the dreaded question that I have been asked in various different ways by various different people in uni: Have I thought about deferring this academic year and restarting in September?

Its just keeps flying through my brain again and again and the truth is I never have a good answer to give because I simply dont know!! Again and incredibly frustratingly it goes back to the "only time will tell" thing... great..

Anywaaaaay after that little rant...

The doctor was epically cheery :D especially for early on a Monday morning!! He seemed perfectly happy to answer my million questions :) (It felt a bit wierd going to the doctors just to ask questions though..but hey who else am I supposed to ask?)

It's funny how a few words of wisdom along with a big smile can make everything seem so much better.

So big smiles for the rest of the day :D

And to carry the positivity on...

I recieved a little bit more freedom today :) Yep my railcard finally arrived. Woooop!

It's a strange feeling the first thing I thought was "well at least I'm saving money on fuel".

That is something I never thought I'd say!!

Anyway to end that  post which I didn't really intend to be so long... 

I'm due to see another neurologist in the New Year... scary but good news!

XX