For those that don't know I have two families (Mums and Dads) who I visit when on holidays from uni etc. I split my time between them both and have done for years!!
I was living with my dad for the summer when I started having the episodes of "finding myself on the floor" and absences. But it wasn't until I'd been back at university for a couple of months that I was diagnosed with Epilepsy. And other than when I went to stay with my mum for a few days when I went to see the neurologist, I haven't spent any time with any family since being diagnosed. Until now. At the moment I'm staying at my mums for a week for Christmas. I must say it's strange. On the surface it's like nothing has changed but theres just a feeling that it's just not the same. It's a hard one to explain unless your in the situation yourself... but I suppose its like they are always sort of watching/waiting for me to have a seizure much like myself really so it's not really normal and 100% relaxed if that makes any sense.. but hey it's very nice to be back for a while though. :D
But unfortunatly I have noticed something thats put a little bit of downer on things. I thought I was beginning to get over the extreme tiredness that came along as a side affect of the Keppra because I had a couple of weeks where I didn't seem to feel so tired during the day and sometimes even not tired at all!! (AMAZING for me!) But I've started to get very tired very easily again, over last week I have just been feeling exhausted! I don't think I've done anything in particular to make myself so energyless. I mean ok so it is a farm so theres plenty of tasks to do like mucking out etc but it's not like im trying to do the lot myself! It is bothering me because trying to keep up with my family is near on impossible at the moment so I feel kind of rubbish when I have to go and 'do nothin' for a while. BUT I'll get over it :)
Anyway it has been a great to see my family and we've had a good christmas!! Albeit an eventful one... we have had no heating in up to -20 temperatures since I've been here, no electricity for a lot of the time although by some miracle it stayed on for all of Christmas day.. come Boxing day it was gone again though and then in the early hours of this morning I was woken by my family running around the house in the pitch black trying to remember where the stopcock was to turn the water mains off as the main pipe burst resulting in a somewhat soaked house!
Theres already been one problem... how to get me and my luggage from my mums who lives in the middle of nowhere to my dads who also lives in the middle of nowhere. No public transport is available (trust me I'd get a train if it was at all possible/worth it I hate the idea of putting other people out to do things for me). So obvious answer is by car. Then there's the questions would my mum take me to my dads? or would dad come and pick me up from mums? or would they meet half way. But then my mum had to also take my sister back to where she lives and me back to uni at some point so it would be fairer for my dad to come and pick me up and blah blah blahhhhh basically its all confusing and rubbish and my parents havent been face to face with each other for years which proves a little dilemma in itself!
I can't help but feel bad and if im totally honest like a little child. I gripped hold of any independence as soon as I was old enough and the chance arrived. and I stayed holding tight to it up until when I found out I had epilepsy. If anything this one little dilemma just highlights how much independence has just vanished over night. It's made me feel somewhat uncomfortable with the future.
Anyway despite the glumness I am really looking forward to staying at my dads from tomorrow as I'll get to see the other family members and old friends :D woooooooooo AND party for New Year (I can't even begin to say how much I need a good session with friends!!!)
XX
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