"15 things" My writing on Epilepsy published online

Yesterday something really exciting happened, metro.co.uk published some writing of mine! 

Illustration by Daniella Birtley for Metro.co.uk

Here's the LINK if you want to take a peek. 

It's called "15 things you only know if you have epilepsy" and has been shared and read so many times already which I am unbelievably happy about. The more people reading it the more people who may learn a little something about Epilepsy that they may not have known before. 

It is my opinions which I have to make clear not everyone will agree with!! We're all different after all and will experience things differently from others. My aim though was to give a lighthearted approach to raising some awareness of what it can be like living with Epilepsy and seizures.

The illustrations along with the piece are awesome and NOT my own they were commissioned to go along with the piece by metro.co.uk. This is a link to Daniella Birtley's website who created the above illustration that was first published with the piece. 

I hope you enjoy! 

Extension please?

One of the things I really don't like doing is asking for extra time on course assignments.  In fact I rarely ever do - even if I really should and the tutors even suggest taking some. I'm stubborn. Thankfully the course I'm studying doesn't have exams (woohoooo) but we do have countless written assignments. From the first month of the course there has not been a single day where I have had the pleasure of thinking "ooo I don't HAVE to do any course work today". That or get that guilty feeling when I've had the time to do some writing but somehow I've ended up spending the entire day doing everything else possible not to get any work done. My apartment has never been so clean and tidy. 

Last week though I had a rough few days in a row that started with a cluster of focal seizures right in the middle of class. Not pleasant/fun/exciting in any way. That lead to a massive decline in energy, motivation, ability to think straight for the few days RIGHT before a massive deadline. Any energy I did have left went into sitting and writing something I'm really hoping makes at least some sense to hand into my tutor for that particular unit. And I did, right on time. Then went home and slept for an eternity. 

Today though I'm back to my usual self, went into class and did the usual classroom things.. like learning and trying not to get distracted by friends taking endless hilarious selfies. Needless to say I didn't get much done.. my concentration is bad at the best of times. So here I find myself looking over the assignment brief with a deadline of two days time and I'm writing on here instead. There's a ton of information we need to cover in order to get the grades and just looking through the relevant textbooks makes me want to sob. This assignment was set a few days before I went into a seizure melt down mode and so this evening I've messaged my tutor to ask for a POSSIBLE extension on the basis that those few days could have been far more productive than they were for obvious reasons. Urgh. Possible in that hopefully I won't need an extension.. but be prepared for me asking for one on deadline day and not wanting to explain why in front of the entire class. I'll aim for the deadline and hope I've completed it by then (and not blown away somewhere in these stormy winds!!!).

I also bought some bright new lipstick to make myself look and feel better. So that was nice. x

Life in 2016

Hello! Long time no blog... Happy New Year!

Life in 2016 is very busy at the moment. It pretty much looks like this...

Studying my Health and Social Care course
Sleeping
Volunteering with St John Ambulance Cymru
Sleeping
College Placement hours with the ambulance service
Sleeping 
Trying to make it through the day seizure-free (which doesn't always go to plan..)
Sleeping
Teeny tiny patches of a social life
Sleeping
Assignment writing
Sleeping
Medical appointments
Sleeping
Exercising
Sleeping
Anything else that crops up
Sleeping

Seizures come along and turn my days upside down as usual when I'm least expecting it.. despite always expecting it. It's hard to fit everything in whilst trying to get a sufficient amount of rest and sleep in-between. I'm forever hearing "Jade you need to slow down. Stop. Rest." I do when I can but sometimes I get carried away with life and all the exciting things it has to offer and go overboard, usually resulting in being forced to stop via a seizure or five. 

That's the thing with life at the moment you see. It's busy, exciting, fun, enticing, exhausting, energy-sapping and begging to be lived. I forget that at the end of the day this hidden monster inside of me can gain control of everything in a split second. On the other hand why should I let that stop me doing everything that I can to live and enjoy life? Push myself forward and strive for the next goal and achievement no matter how big or small. That's the same for anyone living with chronic illness. Grab a hold of the good days, brace against the bad days. 

With that said I need to get back to sleep ready for a long day of general life chores tomorrow and good old assignment writing.

Oh and on a slightly smug but I don't care note... guess who's got top marks in every single assignment in every subject area of my course so far??? MEEEEEEEE  **smug**

Hard work and determination pays off my friends  xXx 

November Epilepsy Awareness Month

Hello November,
There's many faces to Epilepsy!
xXx

Questions questions questions

"Are you ok?"

"What happened to you?"

"How did you do that?"

These are the typical questions I get asked when I walk into a group of people who have no idea that I have seizures, sporting a rather fetching minor black eye. Or any other injury for that matter.

My tutors at college are aware that I have Epilepsy as are the main people I hang around with, but as for the wider audience in my life, I tend to work on a need to know basis. When I join a new group of society I don't just blurt out that I live with seizures. Instead I only tell the people who I will be spending a large amount of time with because of the likelihood of me having one whilst I'm with them. Fair's fair. Others, I leave to get to know me for me first. It may then come as a shock to them that I can be (dare I say it) a completely "normal" human being on the outside then bam a seizure strikes which they will either witness themselves or be witness to the effects of, and they soon learn a valuable lesson.

This week was the first time I had to walk into a classroom full of unsuspecting people, with a grazed face and freshly banged black eye. First came the looks and slowed hush around the room. I'm totally ok with that as to be honest I am quite likely to do the same thing if I'm honest. It's natural to wonder. Then once I've sat down amongst people come the questions. One person will be brave enough to simply ask "what happened?" or something along those lines. To which I will reply with the honest answer similar to "oh I have Epilepsy and I had a seizure and banged myself on something. It's ok though I'm used to it and this injury doesn't hurt too much now." Usually accompanied with a smile that says "thank you for asking" as believe me, it relieves this invisible tension thats hanging around the room.

Throughout the period of time following, which will last from now on really, I'll often receive questions about living with Epilepsy and I'll forever be totally open about it. It's less pressure on me and the people around me and makes it less awkward.

X

Saturday Night

How are you spending your Saturday night?

Out and about socialising? A few drinks maybe? A cosy night in with loved ones?

Or are you living the ultimate high life like me...

I'm spending mine lying in bed after a day of feeling exhausted trying to make a decision...

Do I take 3000mgs of Keppra (on top of my other meds) per day but suffer constant nausea and vomiting so have to add anti sickness multiple times of day to be able to eat, yet still have seizures OR go back down to my 2500mgs dose of Keppra and not need to take anti sickness but have slightly more seizures??

Yep, THAT is my Saturday night. Thrilling stuff eh??

In other news a friend and her husband made a surprise visit this morning though which was awesome <3 Also in the past few weeks with lots of practice I've learnt the British Sign Language Alphabet. That, along with the Phonetic Alphabet for use with radio's and soon adding Braille and Makaton I'm building my communication skills for people with varying abilities I will meet in the Healthcare world and life :D It's hard work trying to keep it all in my brain but if I just keep working on it again and again I'm hoping these new skills will be here to stay! 

Peace X

Fresh Start

So, I haven't been on here for a while. There are many a reason as to why but, to keep it simple, I was taking some downtime whilst trying to sort my life out! 

I come with news. I've started COLLEGE. Yep, little me has gone and signed myself up for a two year course studying Health and Social Care. If you were to ask my parents what they assumed I would be once I grew up I would place a bet on them saying "nurse, or something in healthcare." For as long as I can remember anything medical related I have found an draw towards. So far in life I have followed my other passion which is the arts and have already gained myself an honours degree in Photographic Art. Then along came Epilepsy and completely changed the course of my life. For a while I thought it was for the worse but over the past five years I have grown to understand that despite all the negativity's, having Epilepsy does come with some positives. One being that is has re-ignited and strengthened my passion for all things Health and patient Care. That along with volunteering for St John Ambulance Cymru and all the experience and fire that has rewarded me with, I find myself officially studying towards my future once again. 

I've been on the course for nearly two weeks now, meeting new people, making friends and settling in to find that I love it. The idea of having a purpose, routine and an aim in life, leaves me filled with eagerness and anticipation for the future again. Something I had quietly lost over the past year or so. Epilepsy has very nearly robbed me of my life more than once now and I nearly let that ruin my positive outlook on life. Now, I can happily say that whilst seizures still rudely interrupt my life whenever they feel like it, emotionally I'm in a much stronger place. 

Now lets get practical... of course I'm having to be careful not to wear myself out whilst studying, volunteering and living life. Everyone studying my course have been split into three classes with differing timetables. The college were kind enough to put me on the timetable that means I have a day off between every day I have in. So my class days are Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Perfect. This means I have time to rest, and take my time to catch up on notes etc if I miss anything for any reason. I absolutely cannot fault how my college have treated me in terms of having uncontrolled Epilepsy. The very first day I was greeted and taken to fill out a Care Plan in case of seizure whilst on Campus and shown around the buildings to familiarise myself and meet various people I will likely come across in the event of a seizure or other illness. This is fab as it will help a little with post-ictal confusion and I'm less likely to react to my unfamiliar surroundings and people around me when I'm not quite back "with-it". It's also great that all my tutors are healthcare professionals - could it be any more convenient? 

I'm working on another positive little project at the moment which is becoming more rewarding as the the days go by. I'll ramble on about that some other time though. I hope to get back to blogging regularly again as the benefits and brilliant experiences I have gained from this in the past have been invaluable. All in good time though, I'm living a busy life at the moment and loving it! x